AFGHANISTAN — The Taliban insurgency, internationally known for waging a brutal nearly two decade war with the U.S., announced they would be suspending all combat operations until pop singer Ariana Grande got back together with recently separated boyfriend Pete Davidson, sources confirmed today
"I don't know how we can be expected to work under these conditions. The grief is unbearable," said Taliban fighter Mujeeb Jubair. "I could deal with the fighting and the death and with my friends being blown to bits by airstrikes, but I can't deal with this heartbreak."
