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They're scrapping the USS Enterprise? Oh, cry me a river

The following is an opinion piece written by the Stern Plate of the USS Enterprise (CV-6), submitted from River Vale, N.J.

I was reading a piss-soaked newspaper some homeless guy left on me the other day, and apparently the USS Enterprise (CVN-65) is being scrapped. Yes, the oldest active-duty ship in the fleet is off to be turned into Chinese razor blades and maybe a Prius.

Welcome to the Navy, from one Big E to another.

Oh I'm sorry. You don't know who I am?

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