This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Toxic leadership seminar hosted by ninja turtles
NEW YORK CITY SEWERS — The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hosted a seminar on thriving in toxic environments for members of the armed forces this week.
“Cowabungahooah, dudes!” Team leader Leonardo greeted the group. “I hear a lot of you say you can’t thrive in toxic environments. Well, I’m here to tell you all the secrets of the ooze. We are who we are because of the toxic environment. The best way to make the most of the sewer is teamwork.”
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles became famous for their small unit tactics, combatives matches, and ability to eat all the square slabs of chow hall pizza, no matter how crusty and gross they looks.
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