MOSCOW — In the latest of a string of high-profile humiliations for the Russian military, a Ukrainian farmer was able to connect every single military vehicle participating in the country’s venerable Victory Day parade to his tractor and drag them back to Ukraine.
Petro Bonderenko, 53, a wheat and barley farmer from the village of Grushevka, appeared shortly after the parade began at 10 a.m., and somehow tied a chain that linked the approximately 200 military vehicles participating in this year’s event to his 210 horsepower John Deere tractor. Within 30 minutes, a confused silence had settled on Red Square, which was then completely devoid of any military armor or weapons.
“How did he even get there?” asked a visibly flummoxed Gen. Valery Gerasimov, Chief of the Russian General Staff. “I was standing there in the reviewing stand saluting and suddenly saw some grizzled civilian in a crappy little tractor was in front of the procession, waving at me and President Putin.”
The “battlefield acquisition” became obvious to most when Bondarenko’s tractor made a sharp U-turn in front of Red Square, pulling the entire parade along behind him.
