THE PENTAGON — Nuclear missile silos have begun preparatory operations and are aiming their warheads skyward as the United States Air Force and NASA draft plans for a potential full-on assault on the largest threat in our Solar System — the sun itself.

On November 2nd, NASA scientists launched a small telescope into space to study solar flares in minute detail, and their recent findings show that solar flares are an significant threat. Air Force leaders and top scientific minds have consulted and propose a preemptive strike against Sol to ensure the survival of this planet, and America.

NASA states that the Sun emitted a mid-level solar flare last month that has the potential of causing some radio blackouts. The flare shot out from the sun was wider than the Earth, and was fortunately aimed in another direction.

Unfortunately, scientists predict that some time within the next two to three years, solar storms could cause blackouts planet wide, as the sun is entering a new solar cycle, which will peak in 2013. The United States plans to strike before the increase in solar activity.