Here we go again. Again.

FORT CAVAZXOS, Tx. - In the wake of multiple injuries caused by soldiers tripping over bodies in the conduct of their duties, Ft. Cavazos, known as “The Great Place,” has also come to be known as “The Great Place to Dump So Many Bodies That Soldiers Are Tripping Over Them.”

The lead for bodies laying around training areas once belonged to Ft. Liberty. But expecting soldiers to earn superlatives and unsatisfied with simply being known as “The Great Place to Get Murdered,” “The Great Place to Not Get Fed,” “The Great Place to Not Get Eye Surgery,” “The Great Place to Ignore Privacy Laws,” “The Great Place to Sleep with a Subordinate’s Wife,” “The Great Place to Get Relieved,” “The Great Place to Not Have Housing,” and “The Great Place to Kill Yourself” Ft. Cavazos leadership challenged soldiers to step up their game in all areas. Soldiers responded to the challenge.

“We were underage drinking in the barracks,” said Specialist William Howsworth, a field artillery cannoneer. “We ran out of Golden Grain and Specialist Thompson said a guy he knew said you could drink Simple Green if you strain it through like, PT short liners or something. Green sounds like Grain, so I was like, ‘Go for it.’ Next thing you know, Pvt. Bradds is convulsing and we’re dumping him out on a tank range. I already had an Article 15 for some bullshit out in town so we couldn’t risk getting popped for the drinking, y’know?”