LANGLEY AFB, Va. — During a staff meeting, Air Force Captain Richard "Action" Jackson continued his habit of fucking up common military phrases. Jackson, a 2016 graduate of the Air Force Academy, has lifted his word choices to a new level of late. According to a source in the room during the meeting, Jackson, while noting the applicability of a specific task to a specific person said, "This is the perfect job for Airman Finan, it's right in his wheelbox."

Since his commissioning four years ago, Jackson, a mid-level officer in his Operational Support Squadron, has demonstrated a trend of failing to successfully employ various military-related idioms.

"I think that 'Action' just gets excited and confuses things in his brain," said Jackson's supervisor, Maj. Larry Dietrich. "Like, sometimes he'll get all fired up and say, ‘Ok, ok, ok we're splitting words now,’ and I can kind of see what he's saying. But I'll be honest, the wheelbox thing confused the hell out of us."

The COVID-19 outbreak has been a mixed blessing for Jackson's team. Said Dietrich, "He's definitely cranking out new phrases because of our switch to teleconferences instead of in-person meetings. It's fun for us to watch.”