WASHINGTON — Vice Presidential Candidate Tim Walz has been informed that he will face a military court-martial for “veteraning as a Democrat.”

According to the Uniform Code of Military Justice Sub-Chapter 10, Section 947, Article 147, “no former military service member, in any capacity, shall be considered honorable if the service member later runs as a Democrat in any election.”

“I don’t care if you served for four years, 20 years, or 40 years,” said Army spokesperson Maj. Yolanda Pierson, “Once you run as a Democrat, it’s a profound betrayal of all men and women that put on the uniform.”

A records review showed that Governor Walz did indeed choose to run for election as a Democrat and, in fact, has been doing so brazenly for years.