SCOOBA, Miss. – A 19 year-old soldier from Scooba, Miss. is hoping for World War III to break out so he can carry on his family's storied lineage of redneck GIs marrying exotic war brides, sources confirmed today.

“My daddy met my momma in Bosnia, and his daddy before him married a girl outta Saigon. My great granddaddy got him a French lady during the liberation,” said Spc. Billy Compton, often referred to by his fellow soldiers as a multicultural yokel. “We been carrying on like such since my thirty-some-odd-time great grandpappy, Genghis Khan went gallivantin’ in Russia.”

Fluent in multiple languages, but all in a thick southern drawl, the young private eagerly awaits a deployment to any one of the multiple theaters of combat that will inevitably explode as a result of a third global war.