This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
White House urinalysis NCO waiting his whole life for this opportunity
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance at blow
Whiz quiz, hotshot!
4400 PENNSYLVANIA AVE, Washington, D.C. – Following the discovery of cocaine in a public area at the White House earlier this week, the senior non-commissioned officer (NCO) tapped to conduct a drug test at the presidential mansion told reporters he has been training his whole career for the opportunity.
“This is like being asked to conduct the New York Philharmonic or coach at the Super Bowl,” Sergeant Major Richard Gaiser said as he carefully checked the small plastic bottles set out on the Oval Office’s Resolute desk. “This complex movement of rosters, watchers, and wieners will be my magnum opus.” Closing his eyes, he inhaled. “I love the smell of urine in the morning.”
More Stories
Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
|
Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
|
Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
SECDEF_Nice
|
Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
SECDEF_Nice
|
Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War
Duffel Blog Staff
|
Americans begin thanking troops for future service
Carl
|
Duffel Labs
A field desk of military mischief and useful bad ideas
Pentagon Buzzword Generator
Generate authentic defense jargon.
Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
One click. Instant airport bestseller.
DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
View all Labs tools →
