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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Distraught terrorist takes his own life on crowded bus

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After a recent bombing incident in downtown Washington, an investigation has revealed that the terrorist suspected of carrying out the attack had “only the best intentions for the American people in his heart.”

While he came to the U.S. originally as a religious zealot, the bomber, who has been identified as Farshad Hashar, apparently had a crisis of conscience just moments before he was to carry out the attack. While the investigation is not yet closed, experts believe he detonated the bomb not to kill the other passengers, but out of "a sudden revelation of shame for how close he came to intentionally harming innocent civilians."

This last minute onset of extreme guilt is the suspected cause of Hashar’s suicide in a busy, metropolitan area of central D.C.

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