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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Wednesday, 14 October 2026

Veterans

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

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Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

14 October 2026

0149 Zulu

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· Page 2

C-5 on Ramstein ramp spends entire world war III in timeout

Strategic airlift mission replaced by strategic pub crawl

Filed · 0503

RAMSTEIN AIR BASE, GERMANY — As World War III came to an end recently with no clear victor, the one constant throughout the entire fight was the C-5 Galaxy sitting on the ramp at Ramstein Air Base. What started as a hydraulic leak led to an overhaul of the hydraulic lines throughout the aircraft, spanning the entirety of World War III in the Middle East.

“When we landed at Ramstein, our jet started pissing hydraulic fluid like a drunken E-3 on liberty,” said C-5 Flying Crew Chief Staff Sgt. Evan Warren. “The estimated fix time kept slipping and slipping, then all of a sudden, the war was over, and our squadron was directing us to fly commercial back home.”

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