PENTAGON — Amid a wave of sexual assault allegations emerging in both politics and the entertainment industry, 12 Air Force budget analysts have come forward and accused the F-35 of assault on the Pentagon's budget, Duffel Blog has learned.

"I did not consent to a $40 million Pitot tube," Airman First Class Jerome Roberts said. "But when I opened up my spreadsheet the next day, there it was, signed off by every four-star general in the Air Force."

The accusations have sent shockwaves through the airplane's development cycle, and its Netflix show has already been cancelled. The plane itself, however, will be allowed to keep the $1.5 trillion it has accrued over its career, and currently no charges have been filed.