Former Marine Sergeant Trademarks ‘Wagner Loves Cock’, Sues Government For $41M

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sources at the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) confirmed today that former Sergeant Kristofer Wagner, the Marine best known throughout the United States military as "Wagner Loves Cock," had trademarked his catch-phrase and was planning to sue the US government over its unauthorized use.

Speaking to reporters, Wagner's lawyer Timothy Kranz said that Wagner planned to seek over $41 million in damages for at least 13,462 counts of unauthorized usage by the US military over the last seven years.

"We see no difference between a Marine writing 'Wagner Loves Cock', 'Disney Loves Cock', or 'The Church of Scientology Loves Cock' inside a porta-john," said Kranz. "In all cases, a trademark is being violated."

US military spokesman Captain Bradley Moore denied that 'Wagner Loves Cock' could be trademarked.

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