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Sergeant Smith from alpha company is a total dick

| 2 min read

In the scope of human endeavors, seldom has an individual failed so drastically at their profession, the ability to perform mundane tasks, and life in general. Sergeant Smith, you are truly an accomplishment in your mediocrity.

Sources confirm that you are neither tactically or technically proficient. You attained your rank by excelling only in physical fitness, the ability to memorize ArmyStudyGuide.com, and unabashedly cheating through hundreds of Army correspondence courses.

To reiterate, we are talking to you, Sergeant Smith — directly to you and only you.

There is a fine line between nonsensical, over-the-top motivation and outright cynicism which a leader must tread very lightly. Yet, you, Sergeant Smith, manage to err in both accounts simultaneously. This gives you the appearance of a hypocrite who does not truly believe the things he espouses. This fact might have been mitigated with sheer grit and a pragmatic approach to leadership. Yet, you have consistently refused to share your portion of the hardships and insist on leading from behind. Your feeble, weak-willed, and oft-repeated cries of "the torn cartilage in my right knee" does not elicit sympathy.

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