FORT MEADE, Md. — Just days after assuming his new post as Director of the National Security Agency, Central Security Service and U.S. Cyber Command, Adm. Mike Rogers was overheard complaining about massive privacy violations, as he's been unable to stop his wife from going through his e-mails.

The four-star admiral — a specialist in cryptology and cyber warfare — said that despite routinely changing his password, clearing his browser cache, and implementing other routine security measures, his wife was still somehow able to see the most intimate details of his life with just the click of a button.

"I swear, every few hours I'm getting a phone call [from Dana] asking me why I started subscribing to updates from the new Captain America movie, or got a Google calendar alert about lunch with [Director of National Intelligence] James Clapper when I'm supposed to be taking her to the Mall to see the cherry blossoms," Rogers was heard saying, according to a highly-placed source at the Rogers' home.

"I don't know if I would use the word 'nosy,' but seriously, can't I have just one private conversation around here?"