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JFK special warfare school preemptively changes name to Trump Yuuge platinum warrior academy

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Army will change the name of the John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School (SWCS) on October 1, according to a US Army spokesman. The school, considered the world’s premier teacher of unconventional warfare, will officially become the Donald Trump Yuuuge Platinum Warrior Academy, or DT(YPW)A.

Col. (Promotable) Kyle Kinder explained that, “The rebranding is a sensible preemptive move, since the incoming president will inevitably continue his lifelong habit of naming everything after himself.”

“It’s going to happen anyway,” Kinder said. “This way we control a bit of the timeline and renaming on our own, and it also will probably make President Trump happy to know that we took the initiative and led the way.”

SWCS is the first military organization to change its name to that of the expected new President, but many more units are expected to follow suit. The 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) has expressed interest in becoming the “1 Millionth Ultimate Trump Division (5 Carat Diamond Assault).” US Northern Command (USNORTHCOM) has started a working group whose top candidate for new designation is ”USTRUMPCOM.”

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