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National Guard · Page 2

California National Guard reports puzzling increase in suicides

By Duffel Blog Staff · National Guard Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 5 October 2022 · 1536

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California National Guard officials expressed alarm on Tuesday at a sudden and unexplained increase in suicides within its ranks.

“We went from an average rate of one death per day to 15 all of sudden,” said Capt. Landon Thomas, a spokesperson for the Guard. “It’s nuts. We had to call in our AGR guys to work five whole days a week until we figure it out.”

Maj. Gen. David Baldwin, the Adjutant General for California, vowed to take action against the unexplained epidemic.

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For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

California National Guard reports puzzling increase in suicides

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