VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Even though that quiet guy at your unit hasn’t said a single word since January 2016, it’s that time of the year where he finally opens his mouth and says some batshit crazy nonsense that people will talk about until the end of the year, sources confirmed.

"The magic of the pony world is where I like to penetrate my dream stick," was last year’s apropos of nothing, which carried on to constant inside jokes, memes, and even a Facebook fan page called Penetrate My Dream Stick.

"I just asked him to file some procurement files in the shared folder and he spouted out that combination of words at my face," said Storekeeper First Class Gary Stephens, reminiscing over the previous year’s events. "Totally caught me off guard."