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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Friday, 13 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

13 November 2026

1311 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

'Sorry aboot that, eh' — Canadian sniper apologizes after record-breaking kill shot

Filed · 1535

OTTAWA — A Canadian sniper apologized today after he was confirmed to have scored the longest lethal shot on record, according to sources.

The sniper, whose identity is being withheld for operational security reasons, said he was sorry both to the ISIS fighter he killed and to the former record-holder, British soldier Craig Harrison, whose record his 2.2-mile shot smashed by over 3,000 feet.

"Sorry aboot that, eh," the sniper supposedly said as the .50 caliber round ripped through the insurgent's thoracic cavity. "I thought that was a dern moose, friend."

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