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Veteran with three confirmed kills still gets ass kicked in bar fight

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — A former 82nd Airborne soldier was savagely beaten in a bar fight this weekend, despite having multiple confirmed kills from his last Afghanistan deployment, sources confirmed today.

According to officials, John Mitchell was not only involved in dozens of gunfights while serving in Afghanistan, but was also credited with getting the first kill in his battalion after emptying an entire 30 round magazine at enemy muzzle flashes more than 200 meters from his position.

“We were really impressed. I mean I’ve never killed anyone,” said Pfc. Mark Thompson, a former member of Mitchell’s fire team. “The guy was clearly a bad ass. And who’s going to question someone like that when he tells you about combat?”

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