Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed

Entire military disappointed no one thought to run dick-shaped route in Syria

WASHINGTON — Military service members expressed shock after run routes of troops deployed overseas at secret bases were revealed by a fitness app and not a single one was shaped like a dick, sources confirmed today.

"What is this, amateur hour?" asked Lance Cpl. Alan Briggins, a Marine stationed at Camp Pendleton.

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal
WELCOME10 — 10% off applied at checkout

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!