KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Culinary Specialist 2nd Class Calvin Marshall was enjoying a quiet post-deployment dinner with his family when he became awash in pangs of crippling self-doubt, Duffel Blog has learned.

“I’m pretty sure I turned the oven off before I went on leave. Oh, God, I hope so,” Marshall mumbled under his breath, picturing his San Diego-based Arleigh Burke-class destroyer ablaze in the fires of his hypothetical negligence.

“But what if the knob didn’t click all the way? No, no, it definitely clicked. But what if it didn’t? What if the internal mechanism snapped?” his mind obsessively speculated, weaving a web of anxious uncertainty, our sources say. “Ah, jeez, what if the damage control crews are too sick to fight the fire because they ate that chicken I think I might have undercooked last night?”