WASHINGTON — Just in time for the 4th of July, Congress has made significant updates the U.S. Flag Code, the policies written on the proper use of the American flag.

“Flag Code was out of date and largely ignored,” said Sen. Francis Scott, a key leader in the initiative. “It didn’t include important topics such as how the flag should be displayed at professional sporting events, but did include a rule against wearing the American flag as an item of respectful, festive, patriotic, and seductive clothing. It was time to clarify and improve the rules for our nation’s most important symbol.”

Some of the new changes:

Our nation's colors, which represent the blood lost by many soldiers in the American Revolution, may be proudly displayed on tasteful, patriotic clothing when worn appropriately, like on a tiny bikini worn by a hot chick.