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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Sergeant Major gets DUI while celebrating month without DUI

Sergeant Major gets DUI while celebrating month without DUI

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — A Marine sergeant major has been charged with driving under the influence soon after his unit celebrated a month without any alcohol-related incidents, sources confirmed today.

Sgt. Maj. Flavio Perez was arrested Wednesday for allegedly driving with a .12% blood-alcohol content and punching a police horse in the face after getting drinks with his Staff NCO friends off-base.

"I knew this guy was military right away by his moto haircut, but he looked a bit older than our usual pick-ups," said Jacksonville PD officer Jamison Rondeau as several of his coworkers snickered and cackled behind him. "I had a feeling he was a staff NCO. You should've seen the look on his face when I told him to call his first sergeant."

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