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Lieutenant sets land navigation course record during Bird Box challenge

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QUANTICO, Va. — A Marine lieutenant at The Basic School set a record for the land navigation course while conducting the exercise blindfolded during the Bird Box challenge, sources confirm today.

2nd Lt. Aston Boger from Fort Worth, Texas, completed the day land navigation course — which requires newly commissioned lieutenants to move to a series of boxes using a map and techniques they’ve learned — in one hour and twenty-eight minutes all while wearing a blindfold.

“I had just finished teaching the lieutenants how to properly shoot an azimuth when Boger chirped from the back that he could do the whole course with his eyes closed,” said Sgt. Blake Ingersoll, an instructor at The Basic School. “That’s when the rest of his class started chanting ‘Bird Box.’

The Bird Box challenge consists of attempting routine tasks while wearing a blindfold. The craze started from the Netflix film “Bird Box” in which an entity drives people who see it to commit suicide.

“The captain in charge was in the port-a-shitter,” Ingersoll continued. “So I thought it was the perfect time to teach the boot a lesson. He’s a cocky son of a bitch, even for a guy from Texas. Somehow, he managed to find every grid box while ricocheting off trees and tumbling down inclines.”

“I’m pretty sure he has a concussion though, so joke’s on him,” added Ingersoll.

Boger’s classmates said the lieutenant’s weird luck started in Officer Candidate School and has followed him ever since.

“He’d go on about how’d he use ‘his magic’ to pass his written test,” said 2nd Lt. Ashley Hammond, a classmate who attended OCS with Boger. “He’d hardly ever study, and still ace his tests. He has this uncanny ability to fail up. I think he’ll make a great major.”

“Oh my magic?” said Boger. “Yeah, secret of the pros, but I’ll let you in on it. I filled in the multiple choice section as ‘abbacadaba’ on each test, and ‘voilà,’ I aced every time.”

As the lieutenants ate before their next event, Boger was heard bragging that he “could crush the night infiltration course with one hand tied behind [his] back.”

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