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Hero dog declines White House invitation

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FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Trump administration announced this week Conan, the hero canine of the US raid that killed ISIS leader and austere religious scholar Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, would receive a VIP visit to the White House next week. Sources close to the canine report Conan may have other plans.

Conan, a female Belgian Malinois currently assigned to Delta Force, has reportedly expressed displeasure with early reporting from the White House and the media that identified her as both “a good boy” and using various male pronouns such as him and his.

A special operations K-9 handler who spoke on the condition of anonymity said Conan expressed concerns over the Commander-in-Chief’s demeanor towards women in special operations.

“She sees it as a dignity thing,” said the unnamed K-9 handler, “She is proud of her accomplishments, but feels the administration is failing to acknowledge those accomplishments by misgendering her.”

The White House has yet to tweet a response, but sources suggest President Trump plans “to uninvite the bitch.”

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