Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Monday, 28 September 2026

Air & Space

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 116

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

28 September 2026

1251 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Marine crayon eating competition goes horribly wrong

Filed · 1552

CHERRY POINT, N.C. — Catastrophe has consumed Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point after a Marine died of crayon consumption, what sources call "one of the top three worst case scenarios for Marines." Now investigators are trying to determine how this could have happened.

An inquiry into the command climate concerning crayon consumption is currently being coordinated by the brass at Camp Lejeune. Of chief concern is whether or not Charlie Company was complying with the crayon consumption code by sticking to the three Cs: color, crunch, and chew.

Navy Lt. Doug Forsythe is conducting the JAGMAN investigation, and has focused his efforts on "C3."

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!