WASHINGTON — This week, U.S. Secretary of Defense Mark Esper authorized ‘Skype-suit’ attire for teleconferencing, acquiescing to demands for relaxed uniform standards for teleworking and hoping to distract from recent issues around his leadership.

Personnel must wear the tops of their duty uniforms, but everything below the waist is a matter of personal discretion. Civilians must wear "professional" dress above the navel.

“The Skype-suit is great because it's all business on top, but a party on the bottom,” Esper told reporters, “With most personnel teleworking, it seems unnecessarily intrusive to dictate unseen parts of the uniform. And besides, we know you were all already pants-less anyways. Just, uh, please don't stand up to salute at the end of your meetings."