WASHINGTON — Following a bitter all-night debate, Congress has officially deadlocked over two competing bills which would force the armory to finally accept our goddamn rifles.

Senate Republicans have said there are too many differences between their bill, "The Clean AR Act" and House Democrats' version, known as "Black Chevrons Matter."

Sen. Dan Sullivan (R—AK) highlighted that the House Democratic bill would only force the armory to take our goddamn rifles, and not our goddamn pistols, our goddamn shotguns, our goddamn 203 grenade launchers, or our goddamn crew-served weapons.

Sullivan added that this debate shouldn't just be about rifles, but about all weapons.