Attention all potential buyers! Are you tired of your current second lieutenant being just... a second lieutenant? Are you in need of an upgrade?

Look no further, because we have the perfect second lieutenant for you!

This top-of-the-line second lieutenant has all the features you could want in a junior officer: impeccable attention to detail (when it comes to their own appearance, at least), a unique ability to delegate all their work to their subordinates, and a talent for—well. Let’s see. Well, just keep reading and you’ll find out!

The best part? This second lieutenant comes with a built-in excuse generator, ensuring that they’ll drag their platoon through any hardship and keep themselves clean. Just activate the "I’m sorry, I’m just a lieutenant" function and watch as they smoothly squeak through the cracks of the system on the path toward general officer.