This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Chicks totally wet for Affliction shirts and axe body spray, survey finds
FORT HUACHUCA, Ariz. — Confirming what soldiers and Marines the world over have long privately suspected, a Pentagon study released today has confirmed that women everywhere get extremely horny for guys wearing Affliction T-shirts and Axe body spray.
“I’m glad this survey happened,” said one such good-to-go hottie, Staff Sgt. Tamara Wilkinson, a Blackhawk crew chief with 1-318th Cavalry Squadron, “But I was tired of having to look at the like five percent of enlisted guys who weren’t getting with the message and buying Affliction shirts and drenching themselves in Axe. That is what gets my juices flowing, if you know what I mean.”
“I mean my vagina,” she added.
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Sleeping Marine aces hearing test
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Congress proposes veterans fight to the death for expanded benefits
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