KABUL — Just a couple years before America’s war in Afghanistan would turn 18 and leave home for good, the Kabul government has confirmed it is pregnant again with another trillion-dollar baby American war.

“Yes, things are hot and sticky over there,” said Gen. Dunford, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. “And yes, this was unplanned. But like a good dead beat father, we will assume responsibility for raising this war by paying it no attention and lavishing it with thoughtless gifts of cash, weapons, and training, which we all know will go straight to waste.”

Still, the unexpected pregnancy has many reeling, as critics have pointed out issues with the strategy for raising Afghanistan and Uncle Sam's current teenager.