WASHINGTON — In a twist that has left the nation bewildered, Air Force One made an emergency landing at a Dairy Queen in Columbus, Ohio, on Monday. 

Initial reports claimed the plane had been hacked, but the truth is far more surprising: President Joe Biden was behind the controls.

The 81-year-old Commander-in-Chief, long known for his cringe-worthy gaffes and ice cream obsession, has reportedly been using his remaining days as president to learn computer hacking, specifically to steer Air Force One toward his favorite dessert spot of Dairy Queen. 

While many in the country have mocked the president for months about his memory lapses, Biden was busy learning Python, keeping him up “at all hours of the night.”