BEIJING – People’s Liberation Army generals have admitted to rising apprehensions about a war with the United States after discovering that a key component of the US strategy is love.

Alarm mounted in Beijing after intelligence analysts obtained an internal memo by Air Force Lt. Gen. Michael Minihan from an airman’s private email. In the memo, Minihan predicted a war with China by 2025 and described his approach to victory as “tough, fair and loving.”

“Our warfighting strategy has always involved leveraging technology and creating overwhelming force,” stated PLA Gen. Wang Guanzhong. “It was hard enough to pit that against the power of American thoughts and prayers, but now we have to contend with love, too?”