This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Al Baghdadi confirms he has more virgins than Epstein in the afterlife
AL JANNAH (Heaven) — Earlier this week, former ISIS head Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi announced that he has obtained more virgins in the afterlife than fellow afterlifer Jeffery Epstein. The announcement came through a psychic medium currently employed by ISIS.
Al-Baghdadi, who allegedly committed suicide during a U.S. raid on his location, says he killed himself just in the nick of time. "Just a few more seconds and I would have been shot by U.S. forces, or mobbed by a dog," said his psychic medium with glowing white eyes. "Then, who knows how many virgins I would have. 72? 12? maybe even none."
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Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
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Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War
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Americans begin thanking troops for future service
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