Another lifetime transportation device for some freeloader

WASHINGTON — Military veterans make up only 6.4% of the United States population, according to Census Bureau data, but these freeloaders cost the American taxpayer billions, a fact that brings Republicans and Democrats together.

It is no coincidence that the national debt ceiling has become a contentious issue for usually rational and cooperative legislators. But one silver lining in the fight is the unifying effect that paying for veterans has when they’re no longer actively fighting wars or offering useful photo opportunities. Legislators, budget analysts, and journalists agree, America’s veterans, especially disabled ones, are “a gigantic pain in the ass.”

“When you think about it, the VA budget is about $119 billion but we only have about 19 million veterans,” stated Washington Post journalist Aimes Poorly. “So, that amounts to what? Like, ten billion dollars per veteran?”