Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Public Affairs.

I wasn’t expecting to meet so early this morning, but some poor woman in Europe is complaining she’s been conned out of money by Nigerian Romance Scammers who are impersonating the commanding general again. Looks like yet another public affairs emergency! How these women are dumb enough to fall for Nigerian romance scams, yet smart enough to find the number to the headquarters is beyond me. But that’s why I make the big bucks.

Let’s see what’s on the public affairs schedule this morning. Ah yes, ISOPREP pictures for a deploying infantry brigade. Nothing puts the public in public affairs quite like a few mugshots that stay hidden away on the SIPRNET. Your average infantryman spends the entire weekend taking pictures of his dick, but when it comes time to actually do something useful with a camera, suddenly he’s incompetent.