KAPISA PROVINCE, AFGHANISTAN – A battalion of soldiers has unexpectedly and completely withdrawn from its Area of Operations after discovering a "spider-hole" containing a giant arachnid.
A squad of soldiers from Charlie Company, 2nd Battalion 4th Infantry Regiment were on the second day of a routine joint-patrol mission, searching for Taliban weapons caches near the village of Cirith Ungol, when Sgt. Vic Duhamel discovered a ten-meter hole bored into the side of a mountain.
A video shot on a helmet-mounted camera and obtained by Duffel Blog shows Duhamel and his clean-shaven squad poking at the hole while making generic and wholesome comments about America and brandishing pictures of the families and sweethearts they can't wait to see back home.
At one point Duhamel jokes that it sounds like there's some kind of animal down there, before being engulfed in an explosion of hairy legs. At this point the image becomes extremely distorted, although a large amount of gunfire and high-pitched screaming in English and Pashto can be heard.
Immediate pleas for help over the radio were disregarded by officers in the battalion's Tactical Operations Center, who decided that giant spiders were not automatically declared hostile under the ISAF Rules of Engagement, and then peppered the patrol with multiple requests for information. Duffel Blog has obtained a partial transcript of the radio call:
Sgt. Duhamel: "Warrior Main, Charlie 3-2. We're hearing a lot of rustling down there, like an animal or -- AAAAAAAAAAAAA! It's a giant spider! Stand by for a fire mission, danger close"
Watch Officer: "Ah, roger Charlie 3-2, this is Warrior Main. Division wants to know how big the spider is for their storyboard?"
