This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Army tells Marine Corps Mattis isn't real
WASHINGTON — In a heartbreaking turn of events, the Marine Corps burst into tears yesterday when Army broke the news that Gen. James Mattis is just a story created to inspire the troops, sources confirmed today.
“Look, I know you’ve believed in ‘ole Chaos Mattis for years, but you’re old enough to know better — Mattis isn’t real,” Army said with a smirk.
Upon hearing the news, the Corps’ eyes got really wide, and its mouth slowly dropped open.
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Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing
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Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
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Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
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Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
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