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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Thursday, 5 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

5 November 2026

2122 Zulu

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· Page 2

Biden wanders into war room after hearing reports of Chinese lunch

Who doesn't love a good catered launch?

Filed · 0500

WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden wandered into the White House Situation Room earlier today asking about reports of a Chinese lunch he had been hearing so much about.

“Did I miss all the egg rolls?” Biden asked a confused Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark A. Milley. “Cut the malarky, I don’t see any wontons.”

Chief of Staff Ron Klain then explained to Biden there was no dim sum, only a “regular old boring” meeting to discuss concerns over a recent Chinese missile launch.

“C’mon man,” said Biden. “These meetings would be a lot more fun if it was a catered launch. Back when I was V.P. I at least brought poppyseed muffins every time we deployed more troops to Afghanistan.”

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