BREMERTON, WA — Seeking a way of keeping Pyongyang in check amidst a tightened budgetary environment, the Navy today began towing a 52-year-old decommissioned aircraft carrier from what some call a "ship's graveyard" at Naval Base Bremerton, to the politically unstable Korean Peninsula.

The deployment of USS Constellation (CV-64), which was put out of service more than a decade ago and will rely on a 230-foot Navy tugboat to make its 5,000 mile journey, is intended to "send a strong message" to North Korean leader Kim Jong-un that America and its allies won’t tolerate that country’s pursuit of nuclear weapons, according to the commander of U.S. Third Fleet, Vice Adm. Kenneth Floyd.

"It’s been proven time and again that if you want an aggressive nation to stop rattling its saber, all you have to do is park an aircraft carrier in that nation’s back yard," Floyd said during this morning’s low-key recommissioning ceremony at the base's inactive ship maintenance facility.

"We have full faith that once Connie makes her way to the Sea of Japan in about six or seven weeks — provided her badly rusted keel won’t be breached in rough seas — then Kim Jong-un will stop pursuing his nuclear ambitions and calmly go back to shooting free throws with Dennis Rodman, or maybe just shooting more members of his own immediate family," Floyd added.