WASHINGTON — Coast Guard Commandant Admiral Paul F. Zukunft has sent a scathing rebuke to the other services entitled “Our Birthday Was Thursday, Thanks For Noticing,” according to sources.

Despite ramping up publicity efforts The United States Coast Guard’s birthday passed without fanfare from the general public.

“We started posting a lot of Facebook type stuff about a week in advance,” said Zukunft. “There is absolutely no excuse as to why it was not shared by at least the Navy.”