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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Wednesday, 7 October 2026

Pentagon

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

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Vol. 15 · No. 120

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Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

7 October 2026

2142 Zulu

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Veterans · Page 2

College class holds meeting on ways to fuck with student veteran

Filed · 1537

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — The professor and students in Dane Bright’s 9:30 Modern European History class have recently concluded an hour-long meeting about new ways to fuck with him, according to sources.

Bright, 27, a former Marine sergeant who deployed to Afghanistan and participated in the Battle of Marjah in 2010, recently decided to leave the Marine Corps to pursue a career in education.

“So far he's acted pretty tolerant of gay and transgender people,” said classmate Jeremy Barton according to the meeting’s official minutes. “We should add a new letter to LGBT every week until he finally cracks.”

“How old are our TAs?" asked the professor, Sophia Goodman. "Whichever one of you is the youngest and has done the least with your life, you're going to act really patronizing every time you talk to him. However you act with your typical undergrads, just triple that."

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