Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Tuesday, 6 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 119

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

6 October 2026

0558 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Commander holds mandatory all hands town hall for Coronavirus

Filed · 1551

FORT DIX, N.J. — In response to the outbreak of novel Coronavirus, or COVID-19, a commander has opted to hold a mandatory all hands meeting to discuss quarantine procedures.

“The best way to spread things is in person,” said Col. Vic Fleming, garrison commander. “We all need to get the same things across, and a little handshake or eye contact goes a long way.”

“I did my best military analysis on this, and came to the conclusion that people might be upset or worried about the idea of a quarantine, so the best way to make sure that we’re all in it together is to get together.”

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!