WASHINGTON — The Coast Guard received a birthday card from Congress containing a couple of twenty-dollar bills after it failed to recognize the service's 227 years of existence, sources confirmed today.
"Dear Coast Guard," the card read. "Happy belated birthday! Wish we would have been there to celebrate with you, but we've been SO busy. Hope you had a great day! And don't spend this all in one place!!! xoxo."
The musical birthday card, when opened, belted out the tune "Anchors Aweigh," since Congress could not find a usable copy of the Coast Guard's march song, "Semper Paratus."
