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Veterans

New Pentagon plan advises Americans to stop thanking veterans for their service

WASHINGTON – People across the nation can finally continue their daily lives without having to thank every veteran they come across for their service, Pentagon officials announced today.

Chief Pentagon Spokesperson Dana White and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Gen. Joseph Dunford spoke to reporters to address the reasoning behind the landmark decision, and to outline a way ahead for Americans.

"Frankly, most veterans have been thanked enough," said Dunford. "Even if they deployed, most of them probably sat around in a FOB sucking down their Green Beans coffee and having Tide Pods from Amazon delivered to their APO address."

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