FORT BENNING, Ga. — Specialists across the U.S. Army have begun testing a new early-warning system that lets them know when a senior noncommissioned officer is inbound to their position.

A trove of leaked hand-scribbled notes, as well as blueprints and photographs, have revealed the existence of the Specialist Hands-free Automated Mobile System for HIgh-ranking Enlisted Leader Detection, a repurposed mobile radar platform. It has been programmed to spot angry senior noncommissioned officers on approach before quickly sending out a notification, similar to an AMBER Alert, informing users of the bogey’s speed, location, and anger-level, according to experts who have reviewed the materials.

A barracks resident who had scribbled sharpie over his still plainly readable nametape showed reporters the current alert on his phone. He then told reporters that he had to “go to dental” and walked off before his first sergeant could spot him.

Further tests by barracks scientists show the SHAMSHIELD increases the average warning lead-time from 2.4 minutes to 3.837 minutes, allowing non-NCO E-4s more precious time to find cover and concealment or pretend to be busy with something else. Developers plan to feed the data into a predictive model that will allow them to forecast the most likely days and times the barracks-dwellers should be on alert.