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Army · Page 4

Elon Musk offers to buy Russian Army for $100, half-empty bottle of Stoli

Now that's a steal.

By Zoltar the Malignant · Army Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 25 April 2022 · 1716

AUSTIN, Texas — Fresh off of his acquisition of Twitter, billionaire tech entrepreneur Elon Musk offered to purchase the entire Russian Armed Forces for $100 and a half-empty bottle of Stolichnaya vodka.

Musk, the world’s richest man, said in a brief statement earlier today that “he knows a bargain-basement steal when he sees one” and that “you really can’t get more bargain basement right now than the Russian military.”

“Why, you ask? Why not, bitches?” Musk subsequently tweeted.

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For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Elon Musk offers to buy Russian Army for $100, half-empty bottle of Stoli

Also on this page

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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