EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE, California — As the saga of seemingly never-ending problems plaguing the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter Program continues, things took took an unexpected turn this past week, as the unhealthy aircraft has tested positive for coronavirus.

"We are not sure how this happened," an Air Force spokesman said. "We did everything we could to beef up the firewall and security after China stole all our F-22 data".

F-35s running the virus started experiencing excessive high running temperatures, had difficulty getting enough air into the engine, had runny oil, made coughing/sputtering noises and "handled like shit and couldn’t hit anything worth a damn” noted one pilot though official Air Force sources have confirmed that may just be normal for the F-35.